Ever since my junior high school years, maybe even earlier, I've wanted to write. Down deep in my core, it is the only thing I have felt I was meant to do. It defines me as nothing else can, aside from my faith in God.
The years of my youth were not happy ones. I do not have the typical memories that others have. I don't know what it's like to have sleep-overs or go to the prom. I was never allowed to do such things. I grew up in a small railroad town before the age of car-pool moms. Were it not for ink pens and a guitar, I would have surely lost my mind. I found release in writing and in strumming my own music. My dreams and agonies were all recorded on paper. I still have a folder filled with many of the songs and poems I wrote during my school years.
Even in college, my teachers always encouraged my writing. I was urged many times to enter my compositions in local writer's contests. I toyed with the idea of being an author many times. Lack of self-confidence, however, kept me from seriously pursuing any type of career in the industry. I once started a novel, only to give it up after about five chapters. I once purchased a used book on the subject of making money with writing. It sat for a long time on the bookshelf.
It all resurfaced a year and a half ago when I found my long-lost, best friend Kim. We were reunited after over twenty-five years of being apart! While catching up on all the things we had missed in each other's lives, we discovered we shared a common dream...
Kim had led a very full and exciting life, even living abroad. She said the only dream she had left to fulfill was to be a published author. It had been several years since I had voiced my desire to write. Immediately we came up with a plan. Before the year was over we had both purchased new laptops and began gathering our notes and drafting our outlines.
I plowed full-steam-ahead for a short spurt, then I hit a wall. I guess it was partly that old self-confidence thing. And life sometimes has a way of setting up road blocks. Now, I'm determined to get back on track.
I am deep into chapter eight of my book. When the self-doubt creeps up on me, I reread my manuscript, trying to put myself into the position of the audience. I think it's good...